Proof I Exist #28 by Billy McCall • Zine Awards Winner • Best Overall Zine 2019 • Best Perzine
Best Zine Overall Zine 2019
Best Perzine 2019
Proof I Exist #28
By Billy McCall
From Broken Pencil:
Billy McCall is a true zine guy. With three presently ongoing series, dozens of publications to his name, and a whack of festivals and other projects under his belt, his commitment to DIY publishing is genuinely admirable.
Full disclosure, we didn’t yet know much of that about our 2019 winner when he was selected to be champ. It’s a little embarrassing to admit it now that we know what an anchor he’s been in the perzine scene. At the same time, it shows just how much there is left to discover in this weird, wiggly constellation of paper we call zine culture.
Proof I Exist #28 is damn good. Numbered text fragments summon memories, reflections and inquiries about abstinence, stigma, and the impact (and insight) McCall carries as a result of his brother’s troubled relationship with substances. It’s uncomfortable, even haunting. It’s sometimes funny, other times dreamy. It is always honest.
[ Want to know more? Check out excerpts from Proof I Exist #28 and read an interview between Billy McCall and Broken Pencil's Editor ]
From the author:
Proof I Exist #28 is a quarter-size, 40-page zine discussing the topic of addiction, told specifically through the lens of my relationship with my brother. My brother, whom I love dearly, has been largely absent from my life for the past few years due to his issues with substance abuse. This zine is about him, and that addiction, as well as about my own thoughts on alcohol and drugs. I speculate on why he went the route of drug abuse, I talk about my struggle to avoid the same path, and I talk about the history of drug and alcohol abuse in my family. This zine is highly personal, dealing with deep topics.
This was written on a 1980 sears typewriter, and left in its raw and unedited state. It was printed on a Risograph at a small studio in southern Pennsylvania. First print run of 300, each one individually numbered.